Coping With Divorce Guilt
Divorce is never a tidy, direct term- the declaration itself explodes a lot of things. The person goes through an array of feelings ranging from hopelessness, grief and depression to anger, fury and rage. One moment you will feel on top of the world as if you have been freed from all the liabilities and few minutes later you will find yourself confused and overwhelmed with the turn of events. Divorce is a complicated issue and a life turning event. In fact, it is considered as the second most stressful event in the life of an individual, the first being the death of the spouse. Divorce can rightfully be coined as ‘relationship death’ and the feelings experienced by people undergoing divorce are similar to the ones experienced after the death of the spouse. But one more feeling associated with divorce is guilt.
People feel guilty when their marriage breaks apart and also for their behavior that led to divorce. It is equally difficult for both the partners to overcome this guilt of separating. While women do get a lot of family support, men are devoid of that. Also, it is seen that men have lesser access to their children and this makes it even more difficult for them. It is vital for your emotional health and physical growth to overcome this guilt, otherwise you will find yourself stuck between your past, present and future. Remaining burdened by the guilt feelings will interfere with your normal thought process and will be a hindrance in finding eternal happiness. Try and unburden your mind and soul from this divorce guilt and find happiness in whatever you have. Try out the following suggestions and tips to cope up with divorce guilt:-
Spend time with your kids-
Although it may sound strange but kids are the best stress busters. They help you revive your hopes and dreams and their innocence can make you feel unburdened. Spending quality time with your kids will certainly enliven your soul and help you ease off the burden.
Writing a journal-
Writing down all your heart felt feelings and emotions may help relieve stress. While writing, you will get to know the root cause of your guilt and reasons for the breakdown of your marriage. This will prepare you and empower you for your future relationships. Letting out your thoughts may be painful, but if you don’t get them out and encounter them, the guilt is only going to intensify.
Talk to friends and family-
While it’s really difficult to make out whom to trust and whom not to- at this stage you definitely need a patient ear and a reliable shoulder to cry on. You may talk to your parents or your siblings about your feelings, pain and guilt. You may also opt for a counselor or a therapist who are trained to handle such situations and distressed people.
Keep yourself occupied-
It is a must that you keep yourself busy either in work or elsewhere. Pursue your hobbies, join gym or a fitness centre, join a support group, practice yoga, listen to your favorite music, sleep well and try to keep yourself fit- physically as well as mentally.
To forgive is divine-
Keep this in mind and forgive yourself and your ex-spouse. As human beings, we tend to commit blunder but more realistic is to learn from your past mistakes.
Working through divorce guilt is absolutely necessary if you really want to move on in life.