Divorce and marital separation are two of the most complicated and stressful events in an individualís life. Divorce is a very complex process and it brings to surface emotions ranging from anxiety to anger. Uncertainty about the future, abandonment, fear, guilt, lack of energy and negativity all make you feel low and emotionally upset. The main source of stress during this time period is restructured family life which encompasses domestic tasks, family finances, divided parental roles and association with extended family. Loss of spouse means loss of security and family life which bring considerable changes in your life. Being single again means handling all the chores like cleaning, cooking, shopping etc. alone. The restructured family unit also needs to take care of the financial arrangements and this could be one of the major points of stress.
The transition from being a married partner to a lone soul again is not easy but once you get over the initial hurdle, the process will be smoother than you expected. Coping with divorce includes various aspects:-
Coping with Anger and Conflict during divorce
Even if your divorce had been amicable, you must be experiencing anger and inner conflict, but itís normal to have such feelings. With time, youíll be able to overcome these emotions. Allow yourself to mourn over the loss of the relationship. Share your feelings with your friends and family, this will help you to trounce the negativities around you. Take time to heal, regroup and recuperate.
Coping with social and emotional issues
Divorce is a very difficult life-altering situation but one needs to move on. Start with completing the tasks that your spouse used to do for household and kids. This will keep you occupied as well as boost your self-esteem. Once youíve accomplished the tasks with your enhanced self-esteem and managed to finish them off without much help, youíll find your confidence growing up.
Just clean up your home and put away all the old photographs and mementoes from your sight so that good old memories donít haunt you all the time. Lessen contact with your ex-spouse and start planning about your future rather than thinking about your past all the time. Talk about your grievances with your family and friends and vent out your anger, hurt and inner fears.
Coping with legal and financial matters
It is important to educate yourself about the laws and rules related to divorce. You can obtain reliable information through your attorney, friends and family, from people whoíve themselves undergone divorce, through support groups or through internet, but make sure that the info comes from good sources, is precise and latest. Finding a right lawyer is must, since he is the only one who will guide you through the entire process. Gather all the information regarding husbandís annual income and his property so that during the process you get all whatever you deserve. Work out a settlement plan with your spouse regarding the custody of children, division of property, monthly support and his meetings with kids etc.
Coping with kids problems
Kids are the most affected by the divorce process. To cope up with kidsí problems, parents need to provide them a secure environment, ensuring them that even after the divorce they will be a family and both the parents are always available to the kids whenever they need them especially the father, if he is moving out.
By thinking positively and taking everything in your stride, you can easily cope up with the divorce process.