Advice on Divorce
Adultery - Should I go for divorce?
Adultery is a serious issue in India, where marriage is more a religious ceremony than social. Indian people are not so upfront about sexual life before marriage and after marriage. Often issue of adultery in India results in divorce, however, before considering the option for divorce one should think deeply about adultery, if it is the cause of divorce or just a symptom of a different problem. In case of adultery, should you go for divorce? However, acting on emotions can make you land in bigger trouble instead of saving yourself from one.
Women in India often tend to compromise with their husbandís infidelity just because they believe they have no other option and also since they are afraid of divorce. This should not be made a base for taking any decision. And if adultery is committed by women, then husbands cannot deal with it and immediately decides to divorce which is equally wrong. One act of adultery doesnít make your wife characterless, as often thought in Indian society.
Few things to consider when thinking about divorce on grounds of adultery are stated as follows
∑ Are you sure?
Sometimes your intolerance of your spouse dealing with opposite sex plays a major role in nurturing the seed of doubt in your mind against him/her. You have to be certain whether it is your own lack of understanding of your spouseís behavior or is it a fact? You should not unnecessarily doubt your spouse just because they enjoy meeting opposite sex. Especially if women in India have male friends or colleagues, they are not appreciated or favored at her husbandís home. However, if you are uneasy about his/her recent change in behavior, you should pay attention to his/her schedule and find the reasons behind it, rather than concluding with blind emotions.
∑ Reason for adultery
Once you know for sure that your spouse is involved in a sexual act outside your marriage, you confront him/her without any outrageous fury. You need to understand the reason before you jump to conclusion of divorce. Though adultery in India is regarded as ultimate betrayal of vows of marriage and is not worth resolving, Indian couples should think it through irrespective of society for once. It may be that adultery is just a symptom of whatís been lurking beneath your marriage for months. Is it lack of sexual satisfaction, or troubled and depressed atmosphere at home or his/her own lust? Without knowing the reason, you can end up with same mistake in another relationship too.
∑ History of your spouseís betrayal
Is it his/her first time of betraying the vows of marriage? Has he/she been involved in other immoral acts too? Generally, it is advised to forgive the first act of any immoral behavior to give a chance to your marriage. However, continued acts of betrayal only reflect their attitude of being casual about their commitment to you.
∑ Does your spouse repent?
If your spouse is willing to accept his/her mistake and pleads for a chance to improve, you should think about it very carefully. Often forgiving easily promotes their acts of adultery, breeding a habit of getting away effortlessly. Even more, sometimes apologies are just blatant and mean nothing. You need to keep a check on their activities after their acceptance, which would be clear indication of how they feel about their mistake of adultery.
∑ Can You Handle Divorce?
Divorce is a complex legal procedure. Before opting for divorce you must think about your life after divorce and what all you must face during divorce. Are you willing to end your marriage, emotionally, socially and financially? Often clouded with emotions, spouse who is betrayed cannot put their thoughts into array of financial aspect of divorce, leaving them worse yet after it.
Adultery is not taken lightly in India, where sexual relations with other than your spouse are equivalent to a sin. However, leaving apart religious aspect, one should think practically over the adultery and divorce, since it is you who have to go through life, whether accepting it or not.