Advice on Divorce
Divorce Advice for Mothers
Divorce in India is not a day-to-day phenomenon. Especially for women who have also mothered a child. It is no more than going through divorce again and again, for a single working divorced mother. Sharp remarks, tantalizing stares and carrying a label of social stigma is not a walk in a garden. A divorced mother not only has to handle her emotions and finances, but deal with upbringing of child and gaining her social stand.
Here are some advices on how mothers can deal with divorce, and settle a life, worth living and being happy after it.
· Financial Independence – It is tough for women in India to gain financial independence after divorce when she is so used to her husband’s income to support her and the child. It is surveyed that living standard of divorced mothers reduces by one third of their pre-divorce lifestyle. Such drastic drop in lifestyle hampers their ability to think of career, making them feel incapable of handling things. However, women should not be discouraged from learning and making a financial stand. Working women should not delegate the responsibility of handling finances like investing in schemes, or paying income tax on their fathers rather they should show keen interest in what is happening with their hard-earned money.
· Surviving Loneliness and Dealing with Anger – Indian women especially are emotional creatures. They are so emotionally dependent on their husband that they look up to him for their every decision. Talking to friends, spending time with family and seeking professional help are few measures for getting back on your feet. However, Indian women should remember that it is not easy to be accepted normally back in society as a divorced mother. So do involve yourself in social functions and develop interests for recreation, but gradually; to let your status sink in. Do not think your life can never be as good as it was before your divorce.
· Parenting – Being both mother and father – Setting Family Rules for Stability – It is normal for divorced mothers to be confused. However, your confusion in your parenting can be disastrous for your child’s upbringing. Disrupted schedules, confused decisions and unsettled family issues can lead your child into believing the attitude of get-away is acceptable. If your ex has obtained visitation rights; you should not discourage it. Remember, visitation rights are for your child and not for you. He needs both parents for normal growth, no matter how you feel otherwise. Learn to cope up with your anger against your ex in front of your child. And set ground rules for acceptable behavior for your child and for yourself too, to bring stability in family.
Dealing with divorce is excruciating experience for mothers, with degraded financial support and higher responsibilities. On top of that, you are on emotions, varying day-to-day, leaving you drained. Professional divorce counseling can also contribute a great deal in overcoming post-divorce difficulties for divorced mothers. Divorce advice for mothers is a short list of some important issues to keep in mind while dealing with divorce.